my mom just called to invite me over to dye Easter eggs and she was like “I got wine and stuff to make margaritas” and then I hear her say to my 13-year-old sister “no you cannot have a margarita”

this mom and daughter came into my work today and they had just gotten tattoos together

the daughter got those black blobby birds across her back and the mom got an upside down owl on her forearm

the artwork on the owl was really good but damn what self-respecting tattoo artist would let someone do that to themselves